Friday, August 17, 2012

A Confounded Miracle

DISCLAIMER- PARENTS, GUYS and SENSITIVE FOLK- This may be a little more graphic than you would like. Please don't read on if you don't want to know about girl stuff.

I don't know if you have done the math or not, but, spoiler alert, this baby was conceived less than a week after we lost our first. (Don't worry, I won't get into the details of it.) Truly, I started to worry about the possibility of being pregnant again after I hadn't started my period for 6 weeks after the loss. I didn't think it was REALLY possible to have gotten pregnant that quickly. But, I remember what my Dr. said, "It would confound things, but it is possible."
Typically, the doctors and the internet tell you to wait for a month, maybe two after your first normal period before you start trying again. Pat and I thought we would even wait longer than that. We weren't sure that we were ready to try again, and in the worse case scenario, lose again. Pat was just starting school and life seemed to be getting a little hectic for us. Would we have time for a baby? Best to wait, we thought.
On Thursday, May 10th at 2 pm I called the nurse's line at my Doctor's office to let them know I hadn't started my period yet. I was a little crampy, (but I don't believe in cramps as a sign of a period anymore. That means your ass is pregnant!) It had been 6 weeks and it should have started by then. The first thing the nurse asks me is "Have you had unprotected sex?" I lied straight through my teeth! It was just that one time... and it was so soon after, I couldn't have been ovulating. She will never know about it."If it doesn't start in the next week, come in and we will have to jump start it." I agreed. I still don't know what it means to "jump start it." Besides, I knew at that moment it wouldn't have to come to that. I was knocked up.
I called Pat on my way home from an unproductive day of work and told him I needed to take a pregnancy test. Much like the first, he said to wait a few days. Ladies, if you think you should take a test, take it. You are probably right. I got home, dug under my bathroom sink to find my last pregnancy test. Pat wasn't home yet... but there was no waiting. I had to know, and I had to know right then. It didn't take 2 seconds to show that it was positive. I snorted out of my nose in disbelief.
Just then I heard the garage door open. Then I heard voices. Pat was talking to the neighbor. I nonchalantly went out to say "hello" and when the conversation was done, told Pat I needed to show him something. I lead him into our bathroom and showed him the stick. He looked at the directions again, making sure to decode the symbols correctly.
We sat and talked about it, trying to disprove the test. I thought maybe it was just hCG left in my body from our first. But I knew that wasn't the case. I had just gotten the phone call telling me it was negative past zero.
I still waited a week before making a doctor's appointment. May 21st I went to a new doctor's office and sure enough... I was pregnant again. No missed period date to go by... we were confounded indeed. We assumed I was about 4 weeks pregnant.
They took my blood to check my hCG levels again. I received a phone call later that day with the test results. The Nurse Practitioner was worried because the levels seemed very high for just being 4 weeks pregnant at 15,300. The Nurse said it could be one of two things, twins or a molar pregnancy. I needed to get in for an ultrasound as soon as possible. I made an appointment for that Thursday. It was the soonest I could get into the imaging center.
For nearly two days I sat and stewed on the fact that we were either having twins or I was going to have to go through a loss all over again with a molar pregnancy. I did the research, molar pregnancies are incredibly rare. I think the statistic is 1 in 1000 pregnancies are molar, but that was all I could think about. Grapes in my uterus.
That Thursday, with a WAY too full bladder I got up on the ultrasound bed and the tech couldn't find anything. My heart was racing and sinking, I had been here before, but I needed to keep my hopes up. The tech told me to empty my bladder, then empty it again. Her awesome attitude made this stressful moment a little easier. When I returned we had to look from the inside. She was quiet and didn't say much while she was peeking around my insides. Then, finally, breaking the rules of Ultrasound Techs everywhere, she turned the screen towards me and pointed to it. There it was. One little fluttering heartbeat. Just one. And it was perfect. I didn't cry like I thought I was going to. I just laid there, relieved.
The tech printed me two pictures and sent me on my way. I called Pat, and we both sat on the phone, relieved. Then shocked. Then nervous. It was hard to be excited at this point. The feeling we kept coming back to was relief.      
The ultrasound came back saying we were 6 or 7 weeks pregnant. That is why the hCG levels seemed so high. They were right on par with where they should be. The baby had a heartbeat and things seemed to be progressing just fine.
Fast forward to 18 almost 19 weeks pregnant. Everything is going great so far. We have already felt the baby move. In fact, I felt it with my hand today! This is a tough little bugger inside of me. And I am so thankful for that.

3.5 more days until we find out if it is a boy or a girl!

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