Thursday, August 23, 2012

Oh Boy!

We are having a little boy!
We found out on Tuesday afternoon. Initially the ultrasound tech wasn't 100%, but then the little guy started moving and flipping around. Then there was the proof!
I just stared at the screen, dumbfounded, with a smile on my face. A huge smile on my face. Pat was my mirror image. Pat immediately thought about buying baseball mitts and golf clubs for our little boy.

Earlier that morning Pat was walking around in his pjs with bed head. At that moment I thought to myself, "I hope we have a boy." I would love to see the two of them... hair sticking up and sleepy eyes eating cereal.

It is nice to know that our little one is a boy. I feel like knowing the gender has created more of a connection between us and the baby, being able to call him by his name. If I am being honest... initially, it was difficult to create a connection with our baby. Fear had gotten the best of us in the early stages. We couldn't bare to have our hearts broken again by a loss.

But now is the time to make our connection! He can hear us now. He is moving like crazy and making sure that we know it! Pat and I are growing closer together every day and constantly talking about the baby and the size of my growing belly. Pat has felt the kicks through my belly and I am trying to savor every moment of sharing my body with our child and remember everything I am feeling.

On that note: My ring finger is rejecting my wedding rings. This is apparently a common occurrence in pregnancy, allergies to metal. I have a red ring around my finger now that feels like a burn. So, I walked around ringless for a day and I felt naked for the whole time So today I dug out an old ring that my old college roommate and I bought in hopes to thwart off boys. (Ya, we were real lookers in college). The size of the ring was absolutely ridiculous, but it made me feel a little less nude.
I am hoping this reaction to gold doesn't stick around for the whole pregnancy, or after.

Friday, August 17, 2012

A Confounded Miracle

DISCLAIMER- PARENTS, GUYS and SENSITIVE FOLK- This may be a little more graphic than you would like. Please don't read on if you don't want to know about girl stuff.

I don't know if you have done the math or not, but, spoiler alert, this baby was conceived less than a week after we lost our first. (Don't worry, I won't get into the details of it.) Truly, I started to worry about the possibility of being pregnant again after I hadn't started my period for 6 weeks after the loss. I didn't think it was REALLY possible to have gotten pregnant that quickly. But, I remember what my Dr. said, "It would confound things, but it is possible."
Typically, the doctors and the internet tell you to wait for a month, maybe two after your first normal period before you start trying again. Pat and I thought we would even wait longer than that. We weren't sure that we were ready to try again, and in the worse case scenario, lose again. Pat was just starting school and life seemed to be getting a little hectic for us. Would we have time for a baby? Best to wait, we thought.
On Thursday, May 10th at 2 pm I called the nurse's line at my Doctor's office to let them know I hadn't started my period yet. I was a little crampy, (but I don't believe in cramps as a sign of a period anymore. That means your ass is pregnant!) It had been 6 weeks and it should have started by then. The first thing the nurse asks me is "Have you had unprotected sex?" I lied straight through my teeth! It was just that one time... and it was so soon after, I couldn't have been ovulating. She will never know about it."If it doesn't start in the next week, come in and we will have to jump start it." I agreed. I still don't know what it means to "jump start it." Besides, I knew at that moment it wouldn't have to come to that. I was knocked up.
I called Pat on my way home from an unproductive day of work and told him I needed to take a pregnancy test. Much like the first, he said to wait a few days. Ladies, if you think you should take a test, take it. You are probably right. I got home, dug under my bathroom sink to find my last pregnancy test. Pat wasn't home yet... but there was no waiting. I had to know, and I had to know right then. It didn't take 2 seconds to show that it was positive. I snorted out of my nose in disbelief.
Just then I heard the garage door open. Then I heard voices. Pat was talking to the neighbor. I nonchalantly went out to say "hello" and when the conversation was done, told Pat I needed to show him something. I lead him into our bathroom and showed him the stick. He looked at the directions again, making sure to decode the symbols correctly.
We sat and talked about it, trying to disprove the test. I thought maybe it was just hCG left in my body from our first. But I knew that wasn't the case. I had just gotten the phone call telling me it was negative past zero.
I still waited a week before making a doctor's appointment. May 21st I went to a new doctor's office and sure enough... I was pregnant again. No missed period date to go by... we were confounded indeed. We assumed I was about 4 weeks pregnant.
They took my blood to check my hCG levels again. I received a phone call later that day with the test results. The Nurse Practitioner was worried because the levels seemed very high for just being 4 weeks pregnant at 15,300. The Nurse said it could be one of two things, twins or a molar pregnancy. I needed to get in for an ultrasound as soon as possible. I made an appointment for that Thursday. It was the soonest I could get into the imaging center.
For nearly two days I sat and stewed on the fact that we were either having twins or I was going to have to go through a loss all over again with a molar pregnancy. I did the research, molar pregnancies are incredibly rare. I think the statistic is 1 in 1000 pregnancies are molar, but that was all I could think about. Grapes in my uterus.
That Thursday, with a WAY too full bladder I got up on the ultrasound bed and the tech couldn't find anything. My heart was racing and sinking, I had been here before, but I needed to keep my hopes up. The tech told me to empty my bladder, then empty it again. Her awesome attitude made this stressful moment a little easier. When I returned we had to look from the inside. She was quiet and didn't say much while she was peeking around my insides. Then, finally, breaking the rules of Ultrasound Techs everywhere, she turned the screen towards me and pointed to it. There it was. One little fluttering heartbeat. Just one. And it was perfect. I didn't cry like I thought I was going to. I just laid there, relieved.
The tech printed me two pictures and sent me on my way. I called Pat, and we both sat on the phone, relieved. Then shocked. Then nervous. It was hard to be excited at this point. The feeling we kept coming back to was relief.      
The ultrasound came back saying we were 6 or 7 weeks pregnant. That is why the hCG levels seemed so high. They were right on par with where they should be. The baby had a heartbeat and things seemed to be progressing just fine.
Fast forward to 18 almost 19 weeks pregnant. Everything is going great so far. We have already felt the baby move. In fact, I felt it with my hand today! This is a tough little bugger inside of me. And I am so thankful for that.

3.5 more days until we find out if it is a boy or a girl!

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

5 Days: He or She

I am trying to decide if I want a boy or a girl, and in my indecisiveness, I have decided I can't decide. There are so many amazing things to look forward to if we have a boy or a girl.

If we have a girl, I want to wrap her little curls around my finger in the morning, and when her hair is long enough, I will French braid it and understand that it does hurt to brush her hair. So we will use "No More Tears" for shampoo so it will tangle less. She will wear ruffle butt diapers just like I did and wear clothes with fruit on them. She will cuddle with her daddy at night and bake with her Aunt Teldi.

If we have a boy, he will have the bluest eyes and blondest hair, just like his dad. He will hold my hand because I am the most special person in his life, and he will tell me jokes that he makes up just to make me smile. He will learn how to fix a car and throw a baseball with his dad. He will want to build things and play with Lou Dog, as long as she will let him. He will never want to wear shoes, and scrape up his knees because he plays so hard. His Uncle Jake will show him all the awesome cartoons and read him books, and Uncle Bo will teach him to be extra tough!

I don't have any real expectations of my child. I haven't created any goals for him or her. I just want the bebe to be happy, feel the love that Pat and I offer, and see the world how Pat and I saw it as children. A playground. I know the bebe will surprise me everyday and my heart will fill with joy every time he/she discovers something new.

So, to my baby boy, or baby girl, I can't wait to meet you and be part of the happiness you are going to give to your family.

5 more days until we know.

Monday, August 6, 2012

What's in a name?

It's no surprise that we have a name that demands a little attention. Before meeting my sweet, I had never heard the last name Haire. People always try to make it different than it really is. For example, when we began our friendship with the Kims, TK decided to pronounce it "as the French would" Hair-Ay. The check out boy at the grocery says "Hire." Nope. It is what it is, and we are proud of it - Haire.

As soon as we announced we were pregnant, people wanted to know the names we are planning on, and they made sure to tell us that we need to be careful because kids will tease him/her if we give the beeb an outrageous name. As if we haven't already thought about that. Any parent needs to think about that really. Well, sorry kid. It is going to be rough at one point or another. But, hopefully, you will be tough like your father and never let it phase you.

In fact, Pat cannot remember a time when kids were mean to him about his name. He was always too nice a guy for people to treat him badly. People do come up with some "playful" nicknames though. My sister calls Pat "Pit Haire," for example. But that surely isn't the worst of it.

Proud as we may be, now comes the hard part. What to name the wee one?
If the beeb is a boy, we can't name him after our maternal grandfathers.

Peter   or    Richard

Do you see the dilemma?

With our last name comes a sense of humor, thick skin, and a very strong family. I hope our unborn baby is growing strong physically, and when the beeb joins us in the world, we will teach the art of humor and love to ensure he/she feels the pride that we do to be a Haire.

Only 15 more days until we know if we will be naming a boy or naming a girl!

Thursday, August 2, 2012

We're Pregnant

We found out the news that we are pregnant a few months ago. But, we were holding in the news until we were safely past the 12 week mark... today we are 16.5 weeks pregnant! And it is a mere 19 days until we find out if we are having a boy or a girl beeb... The reason I haven't blogged about it isn't because I have been praying to the porcelain gods due to morning sickness, and it isn't because I am sleeping all the time (although I have been doing plenty of that). It's because I was waiting to do a preggo photo shoot with my very good friend Bri and use the stellar photos to announce the pregnancy. But, comic-con got in the way, then there was a sinus infection, visitors, and the need to do a puzzle in my undies (don't ask). So, I have decided to go ahead and blog about it. Officially.If you follow me on Twitter or IG, you probably already know, but stay tuned for some shameless cellphone photos.

Uploaded from the Photobucket Android App

Normally I don't like looking at other people's ultrasound pictures. They freak me out mostly. But this isn't other people's ultrasound pictures, this is MY ultrasound picture, and quite frankly, I think it is adorable. This is our ultrasound at 12 weeks. Still a little bean but we could see some definition! It actually looks like a baby! (In the first ultrasound, the beeb looked like an astronaut! You could still see the yolk sack, which acted as an astronaut helmet.) Pat was able to come with me to the 2nd and it was amazing watching him. He picked out the heartbeat before the Ultrasound tech could get a word in. He stood at the end of the bed and held onto my foot, squeezing it  with excitement occasionally.

My belly is popping out finally, but still mostly looks like a drink too much wine (which, to be clear, has ceased completely).


July 12th was the first day I wore maternity clothes officially, the day before my birthday! The dress is from Old Navy and I wish they had it in every color so I could wear one every day! It is the most comfortable piece of clothing I have right now. It goes to my ankles, which I think will come in handy when I am no longer able to shave my legs because of protruding belly. Who am I kidding? I never shave my legs anyway. Maxi dresses to the rescue!


Today: I am looking super pregnant, but, I am not going to lie... that could be a little bit of pizza bloat. But, I am getting bigger and bigger every day. These are the only pants that I can still fit into. And on another note, it is VERY difficult to take self-baby bump pictures. Mad props to Melissa who makes it looks so effortless!
I asked Pat to take my photo today too. I wanted to have my top knot in the picture because it is totally rockin'. Second day curly hair, if prepared right, is the best way to do a top knot.


Still garbage! Look at my posture... I will get better about this! And hopefully, when Bri and I are able to do our photo shoot, and hopefully video (check out this dope piece of work), I will have the poses down and have the posture of a lady!