Listening

I am going to piggy back off my good friend Bri because if a blog isn’t inspiring, then what’s the point right? In her last post, I believe the overall theme was listening to yourself, and I think that should be the theme for 2012. I have fallen off the wagon of my “Answering-the-phone-more New Year Resolution” because I was doing just that. I was listening to myself.
You see, I have this thing called anxiety. When I start focusing on an ailment, or a project/deadline, uncomfortable conversation or situation in the future I will obsess until I have a full-on anxiety attack.
Last week I had to have an ultra sound and an endoscopy because of stomach issues. I thought these were all created because of stress, just like when I was 19 and had the GERD, but *spoiler alert*, apparently I have a hiatal hernia. What is that you ask? It is where your stomach inches its way into your esophagus. It is totally gross and usually present in over-weight people, or old people. Well, obviously I am neither. But this could go back to one Dr’s theory that I have a 90-year-old body. Benjamin Buttons much? My super awesome GI Dr. also thinks it is possible I have gallbladder problems but we are waiting on that for now.
I digress. I was doing far too much thinking on these potential stomach issues and trying to avoid an anxiety attack at all costs simultaneously. This included not talking about it, to anyone. Any communication on the subject was short and to the point, usually via email or text. I went into my crab shell and distanced myself from everything I could to steer clear of my own thoughts. My parents were sending me concerned text messages because I REALLY wasn’t answering my phone and Pat was even beginning to feel very neglected. I watched TV much more than usual and distracted myself with my iPad at every other opportunity. I wasn’t trying to be insensitive to anyone, but I needed to be sensitive to myself.
I believe in this fast paced day and age we often forget to take care of ourselves. We are worried about our jobs, our blogs, our social networking and even our friends and family more than our mental well-being. I am not saying that these things aren’t important, because they absolutely are, however, personal sanity beats them out every time, or at least it should.
Thursday night before my endoscopy I was able to disappear in my craft room and get a little organization done in there. It has been a catchall since Christmas and was absolutely getting out of hand, much like my mind. It was amazing the weight that was lifted off my shoulders, just by having that time to spend on something I cared about and was solely my project, an area I use for my mental well-being.
Now that that is done, I am going to focus on my mental well-being through fitness. Nothing clears a mind like a good yoga class. The thing that has held me back from doing yoga is lack of a partner (and motivation if I am being honest), but I have finally decided I don’t need someone there to support me. That is the entire purpose of yoga right? Finding your inner peace and your inner strength.
So, in spite of my stomach pain, and the stress it caused me this year so far, I am grateful for the direction it has put me in. A little self reflection and priority redirection.
Namaste Y'all!

Ambitions

It was strange when I read this post prompt on Reverb11on Saturday morning. I was laying in bed surfin' the web on my Kindle Fire thinking about getting healthy again. And there it was, the question of ambitions. So, I would say, truly my ambition is to be healthy again and forevermore. To be vegetarian again, and to eat less corn... (basically all processed foods).
As I said last week, Pat and I got our new Lifetime membership and are getting on the right track physically (I am so looking forward to getting back into yoga practice), but there are so many other aspects of health that I would like to focus on as well. My mental health is of concern most days. I am finding that I get cranky at the drop of a hat, or super emotional. When this started happening I had to think back to a year ago when I was happiest. I was mostly vegan, (I love cheese) and I understood what I was putting in my body. This may sound crazy, but when I knew what I was eating was good for me, and I knew exactly what it was doing for me nutritionally, it almost felt spiritual. The connection to the food and knowing where it came from.
Since then I have most certainly slipped, meat is a main course again at our house and I even ate McDonald's a few times, which I could nearly throw up at the thought today.
I knew I needed something to set me straight again. I thought about reading Skinny Bitch for the second time, but I thought I needed something new. This morning I watched Food, Inc. It was not surprising, but I was still shocked. There are a few other documentaries available, but this one may have done it's job. I don't need to see the animal cruelty to know that it is prevalent in mass production. So, back to Sprouts and Farmer's Markets for us.
So, here is to us, being happy, healthy, and in love! I am so ready for 2012!

To your health!

The new year fast is approaching, but I am not one to keep, or make for that matter, New Year Resolutions. We decided to jump the gun and, in a moment of feeling full of fat and grease, the Mr. and I decided to take ourselves to our local Lifetime Fitness and become members!

Now, this may be the most expensive gym in town, but I would say it is worth EVERY penny. Not only are the towels provided, but these towels are fluffy and white. Lockers are provided. Blow dryers are always available. And, dare I say it, they also provide girl products should you forget you already used the one at the bottom of your purse! And, they also provide amazing yoga classes and I promise, you can not join a Yoga Studio at this price.
We just want to feel better and have more energy. There is no reason to feel this dumpy during an AZ winter when mountains are calling our names! (and if the six pack abs come just to see the light of day, fine, they will be welcomed).
We are going to start eating healthily again and drink less alcohol. We are young, and strong, and awesome! and there is no reason we can't succeed! (Especially when my dad can run circles around us, not that he shouldn't be able to).


So, here we go, we have our sneakers on, and motivation in hand.