37 Weeks

We are officially full term and have a happy, healthy boy ready to burst out into this world at anytime. I am ready.

Just this morning, Pat and I were discussing how we are ready for the next phase. He is ready for me to start helping with the house and yard work again, and I am ready for him to start helping with the baby. Although we have been working solo on some items, we have been really good about remaining a team and communicating our frustrations, needs, wants, etc. during the pregnancy... and now we need this baby to make his grand entrance into the world so we can go back to being a team in all aspects of our life.

The nursery is ready. All of his clothes are washed. Our hospital bags are packed. We are resting as much as we can right now because we know it will be in short supply once the beeb comes home.

I am kind of hoping for a Christmas baby. I think that would be the greatest gift in the world. But, I would be sad for him having to share his big day with the biggest day of the year. When would we have his birthday party? I think mostly, I just can't wait to meet him.

Currently

Craving: Water - lots and lots of water

Avoiding: Sitting too long. My hips are starting to really be uncomfortable

Ailments: Heartburn again... my Zantac isn't cutting it anymore

Sleep: Waking up a lot during the night due to cramps, and remaining awake to make sure I am not actually in labor.

Weight: 153

Favorite thing about being pregnant: Pat rubbing my belly and understanding how uncomfortable I am

Least favorite thing: The tightness of my belly, the lack of comfortable clothing and my protruding belly button....

36 Weeks

I didn't know if I was going to write about this, but because this blog is also a form of documentation of our lives, I would like to reflect a bit on my feelings:

Next week our baby will be full term. He could come at any moment... and I am now undecided if I am ready. I read this quote today and it is really starting to resonate with me given the recent events in Newtown, Connecticut:

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” - Elizabeth Stone

I am terrified to let my "heart" outside of my body. If something were to ever happen to my son, I just don't know how I could go on, how I would ever breath again. I haven't even met him yet. I have many friends, cousins, and fellow bloggers with children that have all reacted to the horror of the event. Many of them encouraging homeschooling, and all of them crying. On one hand I don't feel like I can really grasp the magnitude and pain tragedy because I am still pregnant. But, on the other hand, my heart is now that of a parent's and I am full of sorrow for these families who have lost their babies at what should be the best, most magical time of year, especially for those with children.

But, the reality is, I can't keep our baby inside, safe forever. He will go out into the world. There will be dangers. There will be people who aren't nice. The best thing I can hope for is that he will always be a good person, and I can hope that he will never encounter someone that is out to harm others. I can teach him to know when to be brave and what brave means in a moment of crisis. 

But truly, I have to think and know how great will it be to have him out in the world with me and his dad. To actually be able to kiss his little toes and fingers. To cuddle and connect with "my heart" on the outside. I can't wait to see what he looks like. More and more I imagine a little Patrick curled up in a ball in my belly, just waiting to come out and see the world with his little big blue eyes. I am very grateful to have him in my life now, and I vow to do all I can to protect him from this cruel world, and teach him to protect himself as well. 

Currently

Craving: Water - lots and lots of water

Avoiding: Thinking I am in labor 

Ailments: Torn Tummy Muscles

Sleep: Actually getting some, as long as I cut back on the liquid intake around 5 o'clock.

Weight: Haven't weighed myself... 

Favorite thing about being pregnant: Being near the end

Least favorite thing: The feeling of a sunburned stomach - on the inside 

34 Weeks

My co-worker that I mentioned in my last post had her baby this morning at 1 am. She is only 3 weeks ahead of me. If I have our Baby Haire in 3 weeks, he would be a Christmas baby.

Does it freak me out? Yes.
Does it make me excited? Yes.
Do I feel prepared? No. 

I need to pack my hospital bag... hell, I need to figure out what I need in my hospital bag. I need to rearrange the closet space in the baby's room, again. I need to pay the diaper service so they will deliver our first load of cloth diapers. But mostly, I need the baby to move his head down.

At my doctor appointment today, my doctor was surprised to feel that my little guy had not moved his head down. I am hoping his surprise came from the fact that the P.A. said his head was down (which she has told me for the last 2 weeks) and finding it slightly to the right and higher. My doctor said he should move down in the next week or so. Please baby, please get in the right position so we can do this the natural way!

I know my body is starting to prep itself for the birth of our little guy. I have been experiencing Braxton-Hicks for the last week. They were really intense over the weekend and still trickling in and out this week. The best thing to note about BH... they aren't regular. They will stop, go away, change. I have to tell myself this over and over, otherwise I would have Pat pull out his contraction-timing ap every day unnecessarily. (Isn't that neat? There is an ap for that! Couldn't be more accurate, right?)

My daily headache starts around 1 pm and I am exhausted by 2:30 pm every day. The cankles are an all day thing now. Coming from a girl that has always had bird legs, these are a strange thing to look down and see.

Speaking of cankles, Pat sprained his right ankle and has been out of work for a week now. His next doctor appointment is on Friday, so we are hoping he can get back to work on Monday and the sprain is healed. The bruising on his foot is quite gruesome, running all the way up to his toesies. I try to take care of him, but he is a guy. They are either completely pitiful (day one of the sprain) or frustratingly stubborn (the rest of his life). But, I love him all the same, and I will take care of him whenever he will let me. But honestly, this was a rough week with both of us having to elevate our legs. Who is going to cook dinner?

On a happy happy happy note: I got my Solly Baby wrap!!! It was the one thing I bought on Black Friday because they were having such a great deal! I have been practicing with my American Girl baby... not sure I have got it just yet.

Currently

Craving: Fudgecicles and homemade chocolate chip cookies

Avoiding: Raw vegetables and spicy things - also, standing. 

Ailments: Headaches, body aches, daily

Sleep: Only on the weekends or if Pat sleeps on the couch

Weight: 151

Favorite thing about being pregnant: People smile at you all the time.

Least favorite thing: Not being able to breathe or catch my breath after walking from the bedroom to the kitchen.

33 Weeks

I have a friend and work that is 3 weeks further along than me. She could pop at anytime now. And guess what? She still wears 3" heels to work. She has her hair done and make up on... every day. She makes this whole pregnancy thing look easy. Glamorous even. Yes, sometimes she walks out of her office and shows me the occasional swollen foot, but, that doesn't make me feel any better about my unbrushed hair in a top knot, or the bags that are getting continuously darker under my eyes that I don't even attempt to cover with makeup anymore. She is trying to make me feel better that I feel like shit and all the while she is a walking marvel!

Even though I may complain about how I look... and feel. I have this new found inner strength that comes with being a mom... Mama Bear syndrome I think they call it. I am VERY vocal about my opinions, things that do and don't affect me. I tell the Dr. what I think may be wrong with me (in which case I am usually wrong and paranoid). I have been using my horn in my car more. "Can't you see I am pregnant, idiot?" I yell at fools through my windshield. No, they can't. (Embarrassingly, I honked at an old on her scooter just 2 days ago). When people come around me and start telling me they feel like they are getting the flu, I want to fall backwards out of my chair and then karate chop them in the neck! "Can't you see I am pregnant, idiot?" I want to say. I don't.

But I think it is amazing, this new inner strength that I have found. I will do anything and everything in my power to protect my little boy. Pat is even more protective. 2 weeks ago at our monthly Dr. appointment our Physician's Assistant was showing me how to feel the baby's head. Pat immediately jumped out of his chair and wanted to be part of this party. So the PA showed him how to put his fingers around our little one's head. I am not even sure he felt it. He  is so afraid to put too much pressure on my belly that he freaks out if I push on my belly to get the beeb to move. If I am being honest, I think our little one is grateful for his protective father. After we were feeling his head, there was a HUGE swiping movement across my belly as if he were saying "Leave me alone!"

Now, we are at 33 weeks, with only 7 more to go. We have a lot on our list of things to do before the baby's grand entrance into this world. But you know what we did get done? Our maternity pictures! Here is a sneak peak in video format - created by Mrs. B. Kim herself. She will be blogging about it, when she gets some time away from her school graduation, and upcoming trip to New York. (Doesn't she rock?) Anyway, enjoy.

Emily and Pat Maternity from Brianna Kim on Vimeo.

Oh Boy!

We are having a little boy!
We found out on Tuesday afternoon. Initially the ultrasound tech wasn't 100%, but then the little guy started moving and flipping around. Then there was the proof!
I just stared at the screen, dumbfounded, with a smile on my face. A huge smile on my face. Pat was my mirror image. Pat immediately thought about buying baseball mitts and golf clubs for our little boy.

Earlier that morning Pat was walking around in his pjs with bed head. At that moment I thought to myself, "I hope we have a boy." I would love to see the two of them... hair sticking up and sleepy eyes eating cereal.

It is nice to know that our little one is a boy. I feel like knowing the gender has created more of a connection between us and the baby, being able to call him by his name. If I am being honest... initially, it was difficult to create a connection with our baby. Fear had gotten the best of us in the early stages. We couldn't bare to have our hearts broken again by a loss.

But now is the time to make our connection! He can hear us now. He is moving like crazy and making sure that we know it! Pat and I are growing closer together every day and constantly talking about the baby and the size of my growing belly. Pat has felt the kicks through my belly and I am trying to savor every moment of sharing my body with our child and remember everything I am feeling.

On that note: My ring finger is rejecting my wedding rings. This is apparently a common occurrence in pregnancy, allergies to metal. I have a red ring around my finger now that feels like a burn. So, I walked around ringless for a day and I felt naked for the whole time So today I dug out an old ring that my old college roommate and I bought in hopes to thwart off boys. (Ya, we were real lookers in college). The size of the ring was absolutely ridiculous, but it made me feel a little less nude.
I am hoping this reaction to gold doesn't stick around for the whole pregnancy, or after.

5 Days: He or She

I am trying to decide if I want a boy or a girl, and in my indecisiveness, I have decided I can't decide. There are so many amazing things to look forward to if we have a boy or a girl.

If we have a girl, I want to wrap her little curls around my finger in the morning, and when her hair is long enough, I will French braid it and understand that it does hurt to brush her hair. So we will use "No More Tears" for shampoo so it will tangle less. She will wear ruffle butt diapers just like I did and wear clothes with fruit on them. She will cuddle with her daddy at night and bake with her Aunt Teldi.

If we have a boy, he will have the bluest eyes and blondest hair, just like his dad. He will hold my hand because I am the most special person in his life, and he will tell me jokes that he makes up just to make me smile. He will learn how to fix a car and throw a baseball with his dad. He will want to build things and play with Lou Dog, as long as she will let him. He will never want to wear shoes, and scrape up his knees because he plays so hard. His Uncle Jake will show him all the awesome cartoons and read him books, and Uncle Bo will teach him to be extra tough!

I don't have any real expectations of my child. I haven't created any goals for him or her. I just want the bebe to be happy, feel the love that Pat and I offer, and see the world how Pat and I saw it as children. A playground. I know the bebe will surprise me everyday and my heart will fill with joy every time he/she discovers something new.

So, to my baby boy, or baby girl, I can't wait to meet you and be part of the happiness you are going to give to your family.

5 more days until we know.