In need of distraction : Teething

My little guy is getting his first tooth! Bottom left! He hardly lets me look at it, but cannot stop me from sticking my finger in his mouth to feel it. As exciting (and frightening) as this time is for me, it's really hard on Bear. He whines most of the day, and wakes up 3 times during the night. 

Yesterday he woke up from his afternoon nap and nothing would make him happy. It broke my heart, and made me reflect his mood. I thought enough is enough! So Pat and I loaded the crying boy into his stroller and went to the park near our house.

As it was the first day of fall, and tempuratures were remarkably under 100 degrees, the park was swarming with children. Bear LOVES children. He loves to watch them, and interact when he can. His mood immediately changed for the better. I could still tell he was in pain, but he was distracted enough for a little fun.

We put him in the swings for the first time ever and I really think he enjoyed the first couple pushes! Then we put his little feeties in the sand! He wasn't so sure about that... But was intrigued.

After we left the park we gave Bear a bath and got him ready for bed. Another great form of distraction were his books. And he really loves books! He likes me to read them over and over and over. Then he tries to turn the pages... Which he is getting better at.

Today I bought Natural Orajel to try out. I hope it gives my little Bear some peace tonight. I hate to see him in any sort of pain or discomfort. And, as my dear father said, "All this AND the damned tooth will fall out and [I'll] have to pay a buck for it!"

 

6 months

January 9th, 2013 - It seems as though this first photograph taken of Bear was a million years ago, but I remember it all like it was yesterday. 

 When we were leaving the hospital, the head rest didn't hold his teeny head in place and his little newborn sized outfit was still too big. I can't believe he was ever that small!

This was Bear's first trip to the Dr. office. He was 5 days old. Looking so tough.

Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.

The amount of laundry increased immediately upon bringing our guy home. The blow outs that happened on a daily basis had us opting for a naked baby most the time, but I love folding tiny things. 

One month old and still looking like a little cranky old man. He still had his hair he was born with, which all fell out shortly following. He had terrible baby acne because I was using Lanolin after nursing. Once I stopped, the baby acne disappeared.

I didn't know this snuggling would stop, I miss it so much. And I sweat, Bear knows when I need it because just this morning he was laying his little head on my chest for minutes at a time.

First shots. Heart breaking. But at least he got fun bandaids...

Out for walks with his Papa

Looking sharp for Easter Dinner at Great Grandma's house.

Second set of shots. Still heart breaking, but we didn't cry for nearly as long. Yes, we.

 

Hanging in Sedona at Slide Rock

 

Stylin' by the swimming pool.

My first Mother's Day

Becoming a fan of tummy time.

His first trip to the Phoenix Art Museum.

His first Independence Day and a trip to Willow Springs Lake.

This has been the longest and shortest 6 months of my life. I can't believe how quickly my little man is growing. How much he is learning every day. From him rolling over, to starting to recognize me when I pick him up from day care. He acknowledges me by excitedly touching my face (really more of a slap/pinch sort of thing, but I don't mind, I am equally excited to see him).

He is now sleeping without his swaddle and for about 8 hours straight (for the first stretch of the night). He is eating cereal, avocado, bananas and sweet potatoes and his says "nummmm mmmm mmm" as he swallows each bite. 

Our family and our lives are changed forever. It will never again be just me and Pat. But I could never again imagine a life without Bear. 

It's true, being a mother changes you.

3 Months: Relationships...

In life you create relationships with people who already know themselves... at least for the most part. They know if they are night owls, or if they eat breakfast or just have a cup of coffee instead. They know if they prefer white bread or whole wheat. They have their own style, good or bad. They know their morals and what they stand for. When you create your relationship with them, they teach you these things  about themselves that are already established. That they, themselves, have established and selected for themselves. 

My son is not established. We are learning everything about him together. In this time of discovery, we both become so frustrated with one another, but also share in the moments of delight that seem to fill my heart so full tears stream from my eyes. He loves mornings and hates tummy time. He refuses pacifiers until he is lying in his crib. He thinks getting dressed is fun and loves to have his bum wiped. Kiss his feet and in return received the widest, gummiest smile you have ever seen! We didn't know all this 2 months ago.

2 months ago we were all frustrated. We were all crying. None of us slept through the night.

Now my boy sleeps from 6pm -12am, only waking to eat, then peacefully falls back to sleep until 3am. This began a week ago when he started sleeping in his crib. My heart broke. Not because we let him cry it out... or because he hated it. In fact, neither of those things happened. He took to it like a fish to water. My heart broke because he didn't need me next to him like I need him. 

The soft sound of his breath does not translate through the baby monitor. Only the cries that startle me awake and the occasional sleepy coo. I must accept that this is part of him establishing himself. He is already becoming more independent and exploratory and for that I should be excited. He is learning to trust himself, as well as us.

During the day he lays in his Pack'n Play and stares and bats at the little animals that hang above him and makes new sounds, exploring his own abilities. I ask him to repeat the squeaks and squeals of delight, to which he responds with his confused eyebrows and then goes about his baby business. 

As we learn about him together, I am trying so hard to remember every detail about our journey. The faces he makes, the pitch of his noises, what makes him happy, even the little warm tears that fall onto my arms occasionally. While we take this journey together, I hope that I am able to help him to establish himself into someone great - someone people can look to as a trusted friend, a giving man, and a motivated citizen of the world - someone I can be proud of, but most importantly, someone he is proud to be.

And I hope for him that when he is grown and creating relationships with others, that he knows exactly who he is, what he likes and how to share himself positively with others. I hope to look to him in my old age and think to myself, "I helped shape that man into who he is, and he is tremendous."

These 3 months have sped by, and yet I can hardly remember my life without him.

Sleeping with a newborn

A sleeping newborn is one of the scariest things in the world. The wrong noise at night and your whole evening can come crashing down around you. In our case, that would be a door latching. I am not sure that our little Bear is considered a newborn anymore. He is rapidly approaching FOUR weeks (tomorrow). But, in that four weeks, Pat and I struggled, I cried (a lot) and then we came up with some tricks.

Being a new parent is probably the most challenging thing I have ever done. Mostly because I want to do everything right and be the best possible mom in the world. When your baby is crying at night, and those first little baby tears fall from your baby's eyes, prepare yourself. Sometimes, you just can't stop his tears, or yours.

Our second night home Bear wouldn't stop crying. We tried everything, or so we thought. Pat took the baby out of our room because I was getting so emotional and frustrated. He sat, frustrated, in our front room and let our baby cry. As a mother, this was the most difficult thing for me to endure. So, I picked myself up out of bed and together, Pat and I sat in our wingback chairs and tried to console the inconsolable.

Bear laid on my chest skin to skin, then we fed, then we laid skin to skin again. (REPEAT) Pat brought pillows and blankets out to make me comfortable and our little family fell asleep that way.

Fast forward to 4 weeks - here are some of the tricks we have learned along this journey.

Take turns: although Pat doesn't always follow this rule (there have been a few nights where he will let me sleep through the night, much to my chagrin). Our turn taking consists of Pat getting up to change the diaper, then he brings a fresh little baby to me for feeding. The trade off? I get to sleep just a little longer during the changing, and Pat gets to sleep while I feed.
Another time to take turns is during the fussy nights. We try to take it in shifts where I will rock our little guy until I can rock no more (standing is required of course), then Pat will take over. A little sleep can go a long way if you are successful in this.

White noise: I repeat, white noise! This was an absolute life saver for us! After a few weeks of up every 2 hours for feeding, Bear had gained lots of weight (he never lost weight after birth) we decided he could sleep a little longer through the night. But the new problem was getting him to sleep. Before we could even put him down he would start wailing. His bottom chin would quiver and my heart would break. That is until my boss told me about the bathroom fan. It makes perfect sense! The sound mimics the womb. So, one night, during my turn, Bear and I sat in the guest bathroom, on the toilet for 2 hours. 2 very peaceful hours of him being wide eyed in the dark. No sleep yet. But, finally, when my butt could no longer take it, we went into his nursery and I found a box fan recording on YouTube. It played for 8 glorious hours and got my little guy to sleep. I laid awake on the couch and he laid on my chest.
Last night was the first night we didn't have to play it for him to get him to sleep, but I am not taking it out of my back pocket just yet.

Swaddle: your baby in nice and snug, just like in the womb!

Use a pacifier: this is controversial to me, but some nights it has been a life saver. I did not want to introduce a pacifier to our son until he was at least 4 weeks old, but that terrible night I mentioned above, where I became a human pacifier, that was the breaking point. I asked our pediatrician about what we should do, and he said to give it to him. I was kind of shocked, and VERY defeated by this. I was cranky and sullen that entire day. Remember that whole wanting to be the best parent ever thing? I wasn't sure this was the best thing, but it was for my nipples. So we tried it.
Much to my relief, Bear doesn't like the pacifier much at all, in fact, he gets angry when we give it to him. He is smart and knows we are trying to dupe him. BUT, there have been a few instances where he takes it, with my thumb resting on his cheek, and he sleeps peacefully.
My thought on this is, you can take a pacifier away, but not a thumb.
(We have not had any nipple confusion, which is often the fear of introducing the pacifier.)

Be realistic: you knew when you got knocked up that this time was coming. The sleep deprivation. You ARE going to be tired. This time is about your baby, not you. Feed him when he needs fed. Rock him. Burp him. Sing to him. Shush him. Comfort him. Anything he needs. Then, nap with him during the day.

Now, 5 nights out of 7 we get about two stints of 4 consecutive hours of sleep each night. That is, when I am not awoken by his sleep sounds and grunts. But, it is much better than the alternative. And we have all learned to sleep with the sound of the box fan YouTube video.

Please note these are all things that work for us. Our guy eats, poos and pees regularly and has continued to gain weight. Talk to your pediatrician about any and all concerns you may have.

"Bear" is our little guy's alias, as I am not sure I want his name circulating the interwebs at this time. Call me overprotective?